I am well aware that my last post was about being single and how much I love it, so this post may come across hypocritical, because it’s about a date I recently went on.
Before you judge me for breaking away from my single gal status, you should know that the date was terrible. I am now back off the market. My views in my previous post were confirmed--I love being single!
But my bravery to get back out there into the world of usual disappointment the unknown wasn't a complete loss. Because of said-date, I now have a list of things that you should, under no circumstance, do on a date. And I'll share these gems with you. You're welcome. While these are things taken from a woman’s perspective on what a man should never do, this is not necessarily exclusive to men.
Ladies, you should never do these things either.
1. Do Not Show Up Drunk: Sounds obvious, right? But apparently it's not. And listen, I understand first date jitters. I really do. I’ve been on a lot of first dates, and sometimes I wish I could have had a bottle of wine beforehand to calm my nerves (I haven’t done that, though… yet). Besides the fact that it would be excessive, showing up to a date intoxicated is not cute.
In the case of my date, he warned me via text that he had been “iced” before I even showed up. If you're not familiar, being "iced" is “the act of drinking a Smirnoff Ice on one knee as fast as you can, following the presentation of the ‘ice’ in a clever manner.” Besides the fact that this is high school behavior (who even drinks Smirnoff anymore?! And yes, I did call him out on that), it was a poor way to start the date, and I hadn't even gotten there yet. Anyway, he warned me before I showed up that he would be buzzed, and since I was already on my way, I figured a little Smirnoff couldn’t do much damage. Should've been a red flag, but I overlooked it, which was my first mistake. I show up at his place to meet him and he is now drinking vodka Red Bull. Sorry, vodka Red Bulls. Multiples. We call an Uber to go to lunch, but before we could get to our actual date, he stops at the marketplace to buy a shooter of Titos and another Red Bull. Yeah, this was going downhill fast.
2. Do Not Force Your Date to Order Something They Don't Like: If someone tells you they don’t like something, chances are they know themselves well enough to know it's the truth, so trust them. When we got to the restaurant my date asked me if he could order the calamari. I told him I didn’t like calamari. He seemed to be irritated by this. Then he proceeded to try and argue why I would like the calamari at this particular place, and how I just haven’t had it made right before. Blah, blah, blah. That’s really all I heard after that, because he clearly wasn’t listening to me.
Finally, I conceded and told him to order the stinking calamari, because it clearly meant that much to him. After further review, my stance still stands. I don’t like calamari.
3. Do Not Brag About Your Benjamins: I don’t care if you are the richest person in America, I don’t want to hear about how much money you have. Towards the end of the date, he pulled out his wad of cash to talk about how one of his $100 bills was torn (he made sure to show me, and yes, it had a small rip...cue eye roll here), and that he hoped he could still spend it. In case you were wondering, money with a small rip spends the same as money without one. He clearly had a goal of showing me how much money he had. The only thing that he proved to me is that he likes to carry cash instead of putting his money in the bank. Good for him.
4. Do Not Be Rude to the Server (or Anyone Who's Doing a Service for You): This is probably the worst thing you can do on a date. You can even be rude to me if you want, but whatever you do, don’t be rude to people waiting on you. This dude started out by being rude to the Uber driver, snapping at him and telling him how to do his job. At the restaurant, he made rude, sarcastic comments to the waitress when something we ordered took too long. She explained they were short-staffed, and apologized, yet he still felt the need to be nasty. I finally told him that it was clear to me that he never worked in service before, and felt some type of entitlement by the way he was behaving. This shocked him a little, but it didn’t shut him up, unfortunately.
5. Do Not Be Cheap With the Tip: This pretty much speaks for itself. Someone provided you a service, pay them. For someone who had so much cash money, this man was a terrible tipper. Because of the slow service, the restaurant ended up taking about $40 off of our tab. I felt this to be pretty generous, because it still wasn’t the worst service I’d ever received. Everyone was very nice, and apologetic throughout the entire experience. The tab should have been about $80. It was $38.
He tipped $4.
Not only that, he asked me if I had a few ones to throw in (which I didn’t, but would have). I suggested he break one of his bigger bills so that he could leave a better tip, but he declined, and left $4. I’m glad he wasn’t my man, because that is embarrassing. Do better, sir. I’m not saying that you have to tip over the top, but especially when a waitress or company knocks items off your bill without you asking, you should still tip properly off of the original bill. I know not everyone agrees on tipping practices, but I think it is only appropriate.
These 5 dating don’ts certainly don’t cover everything you should avoid doing on a date, but it’s a start.
When all else fails, just be a nice person. I think that’s all anyone wants when they take time out of their busy schedule to hang out with someone. While I’ve had a lot of strange and awkward dates in my time, I will definitely say that this is the worst date I’ve ever been on, simply because the guy had a bad attitude.
I have been able to leave every other date thinking, “At least he was nice.” Not this time. I’m back to swearing off dating for a while. I know one date can’t ruin it forever, but I’m in a groove of Netflixing with my cat.
Maybe I’ll give dating another try in a few months. If nothing else, I'll always remember the guy that reminded me what not to do on date.
Brittany is a gypsy soul hoping to find staying power in California. She lives for funny dating stories but hopes one day there's a happy ending somewhere in there. Pizza is the way to her heart.