No, but really, this is a serious question. And I'm pretty sure the answer is yes. Now before all the guys start belting out their "we're not all the same" speech, let me just say I know that. But that doesn't mean that a lot of you--not all, but a lot--pull the same shit.
However, with all that said, I've gotta put on my big-girl pants right now and say what everyone is thinking...
It's my fault. And it is.
If, in fact, I am dating the same guy in different bodies, then who else is there to blame but myself? I'm the one going after "him." I'm the one pursuing "him." And to be quite honest, I've probably already seen the red flags, but I'm the one choosing to ignore them.
So who is this "guy" that I continue falling for? Well, to sum it up, it's the
man boy who seems interested in me and everything that I do, draws me closer by seeming genuine and charming, and then becomes emotionally unavailable after I've become completely invested.
How convenient, right?
But, I am trying to change this. No, really I am. The problem is I'm not sure how to tell if I'm making progress. A couple of times I'd go after a guy that I was so sure was the opposite of my usual type (the fleeing type), and then he pulls the same move. I just keep getting bamboozled. Why?!
Is it the thrill of the chase? Is it the false hope of dating a guy based on his potential vs. who he really is? Is it my fear of settling down? Do I even have a fear of settling down? Maybe.
Sigh, I just want it all.
I want the handsome guy with great teeth that gives me butterflies (and if that makes me shallow, than so be it). I want the guy that can make me laugh but also have serious conversations with me. I want the guy that can inspire me and support me. I want the guy that I could see hanging out with my family and closest friends. I want the guy that isn't afraid to be cheesy and romantic, and would rather stay in and watch a movie with the fireplace on instead of going out to the club. I want the guy that is accomplished, someone with financial stability, security, dreams and goals.
Most importantly, I want the guy that only has eyes for me. Someone who can give me strength in my weakest moments. Someone who protects my heart because he knows its fragile. Someone who will never stop showing me how much he cares.
Someone who will make me fall for him and still be there to catch me when it happens.