I’ve been in Los Angeles for almost a year now, and there's been one glaring observation--I’ve been getting chosen a lot! I'm obviously not complaining, because it’s been pretty awesome, but the humor in it all is that sometimes I’m so caught off-guard by how subtly aggressive some women are, and that has definitely led to some hilarious and awkward moments.
The most recent, and one of the most notable, just occurred at the BET Awards.
After the show, I walked over to a nearby hotel to try and catch up with some of my friends. As you can imagine, there were people everywhere. The place was mobbed. So, as I was trying to find my friends, I recognized a male and female celeb taking a photo. Naturally, I observed for a bit and then kept it moving.
I get out to the lobby, still looking for my friends, and the woman walks out and we make eye contact. I’m standing there frozen, because in my mind I wanted to say something to her, not to hit on her or anything like that, but to show respect because of who she is. I felt led to do that. But before I could get a word out, she said something pretty flattering to me, which completely changed everything.
With a big smile on her face, she told me I was "beautiful" (she said something else too, but that’s all you’re gonna get out of me, HA!). Honestly, I didn’t really know what to do or say, so after a few seconds, I thanked her. But I was just so confused. Like, she low-key tried me. If this woman was just a regular, every day person, this story probably wouldn’t even have been written, but given who she is, it makes the story epic.
And no, I'm not going to tell you who it was. I cant break the G Code!
I’ve been single much longer than I was ever married or in any serious relationship, so I've become pretty comfortable in this solo lifestyle.
Don't get me wrong. I definitely want to have a family. I’m open to one day getting married again and everything, but right now being single is the lituation.
I’m free as a bird. I don’t owe anybody anything--no explanation, no nothing. It’s like the ultimate fuck-outta-here if I don’t like how things are going. Do you know how liberating that is?
Yes, sometimes it's hard to find your groove when you've been sharing your life with someone for so long, and that may make being alone depressing, but this is your time to be selfish and work on continuing to better yourself. Find out who you are, who you’re becoming and let God connect you with the right person at the perfect time. As cliche as that might sound, it's the truth.
Plus in my line of work, you come across such a broad range of women, from boppers all the way to executives, and often times it’s difficult to find someone you really want to get to know on a deeper level. So as I notoriously say, “I’m cool on all of that!”
I’m in an interesting space, considering my previous situation and how all that played out (which you’ll probably hear more of later). So, I definitely think I've earned a trip Savageville, but my savagery has toned down.
I’m proud of myself for my maturity. I could probably--more like, definitely--be out here bad, but that’s not what I’m on. At least, I’m doing my best not to be, because that’s not the focus.
I had a mission in mind when I decided to come out here and I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to live it out. I’m not saying I’m a saint--sometimes the old Jacky shows up and shows out, and I’ve definitely been caught slippin'--but for the most part, I’m trying to do better. It’s hard out here as a young, black man working in the industry and living in LA--but guess what, somebody gotta do it, why not me?
So please believe me, if you're single and in a funk, you gotta get your life and see the beauty of the situation. It’s a much bigger picture than having the freedom to mess around with whoever catches your eye (although it's likely to happen, just don't let it consume you). It’s really about being introspective and having the opportunity to really become the person you want to be without having to worry about anyone else but yourself…
That, my friends, is what makes being single pretty dope.