Sometimes I wonder if being an independent woman hinders my ability to be vulnerable in someone's eyes. I know I've expressed that worry to you guys before, but I recently came across a bunch of old notes I wrote and one had to do with this fear. As Liz Hernandez told me during my interview with her, sometimes we get so hung up on being that independent woman, that we build up this wall without even knowing it. Sure, it's great to be self-sufficient, but we can't let that toughen up our soft side, too.
It's been something I've continuously worked on, and coming across this old note was a good reminder that I can be both.
I feel like I've been working towards being what I was afraid I couldn't be when I wrote the note below, so I wanted to share it with you in hopes that you can feel encouraged in knowing you don't have to sacrifice one attribute to be another:
To be independent is to be free, yet lonely. Many believe as a woman being independent stands for strength and liberty. Although it might, at times its hard to decipher whether being independent is a positive or negative trait. It could be a mixture of both. I'm actually quite positive it is. Growing up with a single mother who not only taught me but showed me what independence is really gave me hope for the future. The hope that no matter what may happen in my life, I will be fine on my own two feet. But, by living a life where independence is preached and valued I wonder if that characteristic will diminish my vulnerability. The acceptance of love from another. The willingness to be weak in someones eyes. The ability to depend on someone else when I feel too tired to depend on myself. Am I building too thick of a shield? Will I have to compromise my independence to feel real love? Or can I have it all? Is it possible to be both? Can I be that gentle soft woman who depends on no one but herself? Or will I just be that--A strong independent woman, living life all on her own. If I can't have it all, which do I sacrifice?