WARNING: THE FOLLOWING POST IS EXTRA CHEESY AND ROMANTIC AND GUSHY AND CONTAINS TMI MOMENTS. But read it anyway. Most (if not all) of my Dating Diary posts so far are about horrible dates I've gone on, and while they're entertaining to read, I don't want you guys to think I've only gone on bad dates. I've gone on good dates, too. I've even gone on amazing dates--like this one.
Now, before I get started, you should know that I already liked this guy a lot, so that automatically changes things. Had I not liked this guy as much as I did, we wouldn't have done anything passed dinner and I probably wouldn't write about it because it wouldn't have been that significant (unless he did some crazy shit that I was like OMG I NEED TO WRITE ABOUT THIS).
But it was significant. Very significant. Sigh, let's get started... This was our first "official" date. I say "official" because we'd hung out before but nothing planned and titled as a "date." It was nice. I'm so used to guys being like, "Let's hang out...I don't know. Whatever you wanna do." Ugh, guys, please, just make a fucking plan. It's really not that difficult. So, he, on his own, made us reservations at this Italian restaurant. I was so fucking nervous. I went to the mall earlier in the day to buy a completely new outfit (because obviously nothing I already owned was good enough) but something casual so it didn't look brand new, ya know?
He opened doors, he greeted me with a kiss on my cheek, he let me walk in front of him and I think he tried to pull my chair out for me but I totally didn't even catch that (because chivalry is so rare these days) so I just went to the other chair and sat down LOL.
The moment we sat at the table, the conversation and connection sparked. I love that. Real conversation, not that bullshit interview-type of talk. It took us almost 15 minutes to even order our food because we didn't care about the menu. We were too focused on each other. We held hands at the table, he complimented how I looked, he asked all the right questions and he even gave me a gift. YOU GUYS, HE GAVE ME A GIFT. He gave me a CD of his favorite music. You don't understand how much I loved that. Flowers are cool, chocolate is obviously welcome, but to take the time to make something that actually has meaning...that's that shit I do like.
I couldn't stop cheesing. I probably looked crazy, but whatever. I also remember he ordered the wine for me, and he mispronounced it. He didn't realize it until the server corrected him and made a face that I don't even think he knew he made. I caught it. I never said anything, but it made me melt a little because it made him human. Here's this amazing guy who's fucking gorgeous and he mispronounced the wine and felt bad about it because he's nervous, too. Holy shit.
We ate off each other's plates, we laughed and we asked questions we really wanted to know the answers to. When it was time for dessert, he read my mind (or my facial expressions) when the tray of options was presented to us and figured out that I wanted tiramisu (my fave). We shared it and split the last piece.
When dinner was done, I was sad. He hadn't mentioned any other plans and I didn't want to say goodbye. Luckily, he asked if I wanted to go somewhere else after and I contained my HELL YEAH to sure! We were already near the beach, so we decided to go to the Venice Canals, which was amazing because I'd always wanted to go but never actually gone. It was beautiful. Each bridge was lit up and it was just so romantic. That's when he kissed me. SIGH. Perfection.
We kept walking around, talking and admiring the expensive houses that are probably lovely to live in. At one point, he asked me to "come here" so we could take a picture together. I was happy, because I wanted a picture together but I didn't wanna look too eager and freak him out. His selfie skills weren't on par with mine (granted the lighting was not the greatest) so it's a fuzzy, poorly lit pic. And I love it so much.
Then he mentioned that the beach is literally right there, so we grabbed a towel from the car and he took me on this tiny excursion to the beach. We kicked off our shoes and enjoyed the sand, then dipped our toes in the ocean. We didn't spend too much time in the water, though, because the ocean at night is hella scary. No thank you.
Instead, we just sat down on the sand and listened to the waves, played some music on the phone and talked about life--family, the future, our fears, our dreams....you name it, all while he sat behind me and held me and put his jacket over me to keep me warm. I had to pinch myself. I thought this stuff only happened in the movies. Then, he asked, "Do you wanna go to the movies?"
First of all, I'm always down for a movie. Second of all, I was SO EXCITED that he wanted to keep hanging out with me. So we looked at theaters nearby and decided on a movie that we could make on time.
Here's when the TMI ALERT comes in--So...I got my period the day before. OMG PERIODS. It was my day two--which ladies, as many of you know, is usually the heavy flow. Guys, if you're grossed out, get over it. Until you bleed for a week once a month, every month, you have no say. Anyway, the entire date I was worried about it in the back of my mind like, Fuck what if I get up from this towel and there's a bloody mess and he's like WTF? and then I'm the period girl in his mind forever!
Luckily, that didn't happen. But when we got to the theater, I bee-lined it to the bathroom to make sure that I was A-OK. Spoiler alert! I was not. I leaked through everything. It was like a Law and Order: SVU episode in my pants and I was freaking out. Of course, the stall I was in had NO TOILET PAPER...so I had to MacGuyver it up until one mystery woman walked in and I cried for help. I didn't actually cry guys but I was like PLEASE GIVE ME TOILET PAPER. I was so happy to see that hand under my stall. Anyway, I did what I could with the situation, knowing that I was already in the bathroom for a significant amount of time and needed to get back out there. God, I hope he doesn't think I was pooping.
I walk out and he gives me a face. He totally thinks I was pooping!
"Sorry! Of course my stall had no toilet paper and my zipper got stuck, so I had to deal with that." He probably didn't believe me.
Anyway, he bought some Sour Patch Kids to snack on and kindly gave me all of the red ones because they're my fave. Luckily, he liked the yellow ones, which is really great. It's nice to know someone likes the yellow ones. We watched the movie while being all curled up with each other, and it was just perfect.
That date lasted seven hours, and it felt like five minutes. After the movie, he kissed me goodnight, and we parted ways.
That was the last time I saw him.
It's funny because we think of amazing nights in our life and two things happen--we tend to focus on the easily missed moments (his facial expressions, the way his finger would circle my hand when we held hands, the small kisses). The little treasures that anyone else may not notice, but that you hold close to your heart. I love that.
And then we wish we would have done more.
I didn't know that would be the last time I saw him, obviously. I honestly thought this was the first night of the rest of my life. But now looking back, I wish I would have worried less about my goddamn period and been more in the moment. I wish I would have kissed him more. I wish I would have sat face-to-face with him on the beach, not because I didn't love him spooning me from behind, but because I loved looking at his face and reading his non-verbal responses. I wish I would have said more, done more...
And I wish I didn't have moments where I thought this entire night was bullshit. I think that's why I'm writing about it. I don't want to question anything, I just want to remember. At first I wanted to keep this memory to myself. Hold it close and never let it go. But one of my greatest fears in life is to lose my memory. I think that's why I write so much and take so many pictures.
I wanna be able to look back at this post and remember one of the greatest nights of my life. A night when the stars seemed to align and the Universe was on my side. A night when I knew that there may be a lot of problems with dating, but once in a while, you find some great joys, too.
A night that I wish never had to end.