As I write this, I’m listening to Everything Is Love by The Carters, but this is not going to be a think piece about the album (although I do think it’s pretty dope). I just wanted to give you the context of my vibe. What I really want to speak on is a struggle that many of us single folk deal with--dating in 2018. If you took a deep sigh, then you already know. Trying to find someone you like for more than three days is a daunting task. People are out here getting curved left and right, lied to, cheated on, it’s rough outchea. As I grew older, the question, “Are you single?” became way more prevalent. You needed to verify that whomever you were trying to get at was actually available. Well guess what? It’s 2018 and the rules of engagement have drastically changed, because whether you’ve noticed it or not, there are now varying degrees of “single."
Allow me the joy of bringing a few to your attention:
1. Single AKA I’m on the verge of getting married or I’m already married
This doesn’t even make sense, but trust me it’s a real thing. Everyone who’s married doesn’t always wear their ring, or they conveniently take it off when they’re in the streets. Some of these folks might even keep it a hundred with you and tell you that they’re married, and if you decide to engage that’s on you, because they’ll always have an out. “Well, you know I’m married.” But I can assure you that situation isn’t going to be worth a damn, so it’s best not to entertain it.
Wrighteous Wisdom: If you’re so deep in the streets, why the hell are you getting married?
2. Single AKA The person I’m talking to is about to get cancelled, but I’m not really going to cancel them
Classic. They’ve been in a long-term relationship, and they tell you it’s over, but they’re really on a “break.” You don’t know any of this though. All you know is that the individual you’re dealing with is single, but that ex surely comes up in conversation rather often. You might even run into them together, but he or she assures you they are just “friends.”
Wrighteous Wisdom: Keep it moving before you play yourself (don’t ever play yourself).
3. Single AKA I’m talking to someone, but if the grass is greener, I’m yours
This one always ends in disaster off principle alone. If he or she leaves their relationship too quickly to jump into one with you, trust and believe that down the line you are headed for the same or similar outcome. That’s just the game my friend, I didn’t make the rules.
Wrighteous Wisdom: They out here choosing, but make sure you’re choosing wisely.
4. Single AKA I’m not that into you, but I want to make the person I’m really into jealous
Sophisticated and calculated, this scenario can get dicey. You low-key vibe with this person, but they pretty much know that they’re not that into you. They’re just doing this to gauge other options in case the person they’re really into blows the golden opportunity to be with them.
Wrighteous Wisdom: Pay attention to the signs and trust your instincts.
5. Single AKA I’ve got options, so if you don’t make a decision now, I won’t be single tomorrow
First things first, never rush to be in a relationship. You don’t have to chase what God has for you. The right person will come along, so if you’re hesitant about a particular person, don’t overlook that feeling. Be patient, vibes don’t lie. Plus, if someone has to choose between you and another person, please let them choose that other person.
Wrighteous Wisdom: Be the lone priority, not a pool of contestants.
6. Single AKA I’m good luv, pull up
If you find that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, the unicorn galloping into the sunset, the person who is sincerely, truly and fully single, you just might be onto something. Take your time though, because like I mentioned, rushing into something can ruin a great situation before it even had time to flourish. Get to know one another, vibe out, date, have sex, and most importantly--enjoy yourself, because finding something like this these days is a MF’ing celebration!
Wrighteous Wisdom: What’s meant to be will be. However it shakes down, do everything in love.
Jacky Wright is striving to become a master in the art of living; pursuing his vision of excellence and blurring the lines between work and play.