It's crazy how in one moment, I have no idea what topic I'll address next on here, and then all of a sudden--I'm rushed with emotion and cannot think straight until I discuss a specific point. That's kind of what happened right now. I had no intention on posting anything tonight, and I had ideas of what my next post would be about, but right now, all of that is put on the back burner, because I tried to express what I'm feeling this very minute in about 3 Facebook statuses and they all came out way too long--so I'm writing this, instead.
I'll start by putting the main gist of this post in one sentence: Don't be a fucking idiot.
Don't worry, I'll elaborate...
I'm aware that not everyone operates the same way I do. I'm also aware that I'm very upfront and outspoken and honest and open. I mean, I have an entire blog on the Internet about the shitty decisions I make when it comes to dating. Clearly, I'm not exactly afraid of expressing myself. But it amazes me--AMAZES me--at how many people are too scared/nervous/prideful/afraid to tell someone how they feel.
Seriously, I'm astonished. And if that's you, I'm going to offer you a little lecture, but only because I care, so listen up...
Stop. Stop that. Don't you understand you have so much more to lose by keeping your feelings inside? Don't you realize that it's much better to know rather than wonder WTF is really going on?
If you care about someone, you tell them. "Hey, I care about you. I like you. I think about you often. I miss you when you're not around." 15 seconds of courage, that's all it takes. And what's the worst that can happen? They say, "Oh wow, that's really nice. But I don't feel that way."
All right, now you know. Move on.
Isn't that better than constantly wondering if the feeling is reciprocated? Sure, it's easier to make up the perfect scenario in your head and try to convince yourself that that's enough for you, but it's not. And you never want to get to the point when it's too late...
They've moved on. They're in a relationship. They're in love with someone else. Or even worse--they're dead.
I know I just took a sharp turn to Gloomsville, and I'm sorry, but I'm just keeping it 100 right now.
You might be wondering, "Where is this coming from, Bruna? Is everything OK?"
Yes, everything is just fine, thanks for worrying. But it is coming from somewhere. The more reports I read about former Bachelor star Gia Allemand, the more I think about all of this.
For those of you who are unaware with the story, Gia became famous after appearing on The Bachelor. She didn't get the final rose, but she ended up in love with NBA player Ryan Anderson. They were in a serious long-term relationship. Gia died recently after committing suicide. She hanged herself. She was 29 years old. Soon afterward, the police report revealed that the night of her suicide, she and Ryan were arguing over whether or not he was cheating and he said to her, "I don't love you anymore."
Later that night, he went to her house after her mother was worried about her, and found her with a vacuum cord wrapped around her neck. And that was it. Bam. Over. That will be her last memory of him. And now, all he can do is tweet how much he misses and loves her.
I felt slightly ridiculous for getting so emotional and heartbroken over a story about people I don't even know and will never know, for that matter. But as a human being--you connect. You're reminded that tomorrow really isn't guaranteed. That your words have lasting effects on someone, even more so when it's someone you care about.
So with that, I go back to my original statement: Don't be a fucking idiot.
And by that, I mean this: Don't speak out of anger. Don't lash out on the ones who care about you the most because you're in the heat of the moment. Don't ever let a day go by without letting someone you care about know how much you care about them. I know I've said this before, but I can't stress it enough.
When you constantly think about someone, that means they have a part of your heart. That's important. They're important. They should know that before it's too late.