Does Facebook have a relationship status that says “Oh, we’re not technically together but we hang out all the time and have sex but there’s no title” yet? They need to (because you know no one wants to label their shit as “complicated” even if it is). It seems like more often than not, people who are seeing each other end up in the gray area a.k.a the you-can-have-your-cake-and-eat-it-too area a.k.a dating hell. In the beginning, it seems all fine and dandy. No strings attached, no commitment, nothing to stress about. But at some point, feelings emerge, jealousy begins to take over and you’re constantly struggling to keep your inner psycho bitch quiet after a quick stalk sesh because you’re not his girlfriend, so what are you going to say? Exactly.
There’s a verse off Drake’s track “Doing It Wrong” that really fits this whole mentality of being emotionally attached to someone without being fully committed.
“We live in a generation of not being in love, and not being together. But we sure make it feel like we’re together, cause we’re scared to see each other with somebody else.”
So what do you do? Do you roll with the punches because that’s what you signed up for? Was that even what you signed up for? Do you give the person an ultimatum? How long do you allow yourself to be in the gray before speaking up? How do you ignore the feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you notice they’re hanging out with someone else?
Yes that’s a shitload of questions and unfortunately, I have no answers. It all depends on you and the situation.
Sometimes you just gotta ask yourself what you want from this person. If it’s a relationship, let them know. Communication is key and nobody’s a mind reader. Sure, it takes balls, but what have you got to lose? Either something exclusive will begin, or they’ll come at you with the whole, “Well, I told you from the beginning I wasn’t ready for a relationship.” Oh, that’s right, how silly of me to think my amazingness could have changed that.
Look, maybe it is time that they need. Maybe they really aren’t ready to be committed to you, and you definitely don’t want to force them into it if they’re not willing because that’s when cheating happens. Maybe it’s F.O.M.O (Fear of Missing Out)…but that’s another issue we’ll discuss in detail later.
At the same time, do you really want your heart to be strung along while never knowing what you are to that person? One of my favorite quotes is, “Sometimes you have to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve.”
Do you deserve being an option instead of a priority? That’s up to you, but I’m just gonna put in my two cents and say probably not.